I almost didn’t do this … it’s hard to explain. I was going through a really rough time with the loss of my daughter, and having a photoshoot just wasn’t even on my radar. I got the email with my package details that my partner had gotten for me, and I thought ‘I’m not going to do this’…
I spoke to my counselor and my partner and they said that this would be an important part of the healing process and something to look back on, grow from, and document this time in my life because there is good in it.
You can learn to appreciate what you do have instead of what you have lost. At that moment in time, I wasn’t very happy with myself, both mentally and physically. My whole identity and self-worth had been trodden down from the experience I had, and I honestly never thought I’d be able to love myself again. I felt like a failure, I felt ugly.
I was pregnant with my first daughter, it was a surprise but it was a good surprise … we had planned on having kids anyway. Everything was going really well , I had just seen my obstetrician the day before and received a clean bill of health.
I got really sick, they don’t know why and that was it. By the time I got to hospital she was coming but it was too late … they could not do anything. I had a caesarean to try to save her but unfortunately it didn’t work.
I’m actually really glad that I did go through with having a photoshoot… if you get the opportunity, you should take it, because you never regret doing something positive, I don’t have to go home and wonder “what could have been…”